Welcome to "The Gene Zone

You know you've entered the "Gene Zone" when....... You can't figure out why red dye #4 lipstick was recalled You notice you call your purse a pocketbook Instead of mousse you discover the joy of pin curls and bobbie pins Stockings become a "practical" accessory not just for Friday night fun... You find Channel #5 and White Shoulders a staple on your night stand At a party you win at Trivia when you are the only one who knows what Sen-Sen is. You no longer watch old movies without dissecting every outfit as a remake for Gene You find yourself wearing deep red lipstick & nail polish when you always shied away from dark colors. When anyone admires your Gene collection, you go into a thirty minute spiel on old Hollywood. Being without a handkerchief is so important  you buy $35 a yard linen and the fanciest lace available to make some! You have your friends and family looking for old Hollywood books at garage sales. You threaten your new husband if he does not get you cable for Christmas You buy every movie made before 1960 that you can get your hands on. You start listening to the "Oldies" radio stations exclusively You attempt to learn the definition of "Film Noir" You take sewing lessons after swearing off sewing 30 years ago All your other fashion dolls look too short, and too much like "dolls" You dig out old family photos to see if anyone dressed or wore her hair like Gene You feel the urge to write poems, songs, and stories about her You have a bra that "points" at people You'd never wear white shoes after Sept. 1st or before May 1st You need a sketchpad when a black & white movie comes on No outfit seems complete without a hat. You dream of closed toe pumps at night "Evening in Paris" is also on your night stand. You're upset upon finding a smudge on your white gloves. You have a drawer full of scarves to wear on your head so wind doesn't disturb your hairdo. Your monthly budget has the word Gene on it every time You know every doll store in a fifty mile radius, how long it takes to get there (to the second) & who works on what day Gene has more furniture and clothes than you do When guests come over and the first thing you ask is if they want to see the doll room When you start planning your Holiday outfit to sew -- for Gene. When you look for decorations so you can start on Gene's tree first. You go shopping to your usual places but now you look at everything in "Gene scale." When asked why Gene's name is spelled the way it is, you know and recite the entire "life story" of (gasp!) a doll! You don't care if your family thinks you're silly for playing with dolls at "your age." You answer your telephone by saying "Miss Marshall's residence, how may I help you?" By ending most conversations about Gene with non-doll folks by saying "No, she is most certainly not 'JUST A DOLL'!!!" When you are watching old movies you swear you can see Gene in crowd scenes. You can talk for hours (and not be bored for one second!) about the pros and cons of BITS looking better on BG or RV. You start rolling your hair up on the sides, a la 40s. You take Gene on vacation and wonder if you remembered the husband, too. You start collecting 40s patterns so you can look more like Gene. You forget and sign a check "Gene Marshall." You start carrying on conversations with your Gene collection. You tell your friends to name their new daughter Gene. You start remembering Gene's films as real and look for them on Turner Movie Classics & American Movie Classics  Your friends start asking how Gene is doing when they call you. Your friends and relatives expect to see you with Gene in your shoulder bag. You consider changing your name to Gene. Your husband accuses you of loving Gene more than him You total up the worth of your Barbie collection and dream of how many Genes you can buy with the money You smuggle UPS packages to your room You go around the house examining every room, planning the construction of room length shelves for Gene to stand on When looking for a place to live, you make sure Gene has her own room You forget your diet because after all...Gene already has a good figure and you figure that at least one of you does! You stay up all night searching for Gene Tierney movies During a Gene Tierney movie, you spend the entire time looking at the TV and at your Genes amazed at the resemblance You hope Bob Mackie never gets a hold of Gene Your husband has moved into the guest bedroom so you and Gene can be alone You miss people you have never met. When you realize that if you plan to get any work done at night, you are going to have to buy a second computer. You start telling yourself that you were smart to place those orders on time. You start asking yourself why you didn't place those other orders on time. You decide that your "actual, living" friends aren't really all you cracked them up to be. YOU DECIDE THAT MUCH EYE SHADOW IS WONDERFUL Every time you start your computer, the first thing you do is go the AD Forum You begin trying to figure out what in the budget needs to be cut so you can afford another Gene. When shopping, you give outfits names. "Springtime Sizzle" or "Winter Glow" You can't rest your head at night until Genes head is positioned at JUST the right angle to give her a sexy cutting glance. The people at the doll shop know you, your family, your middle name, your credit card number, every Gene doll and outfit in your collection, and even what you had for dinner last night. You won't tell your family how many dolls you have. You tell your children you're going to check your E-mail and you go directly to Gene board to check new posts. You're sad because you won't be getting any new Gene's for Christmas (you already have them all). You can't wait until the next years Gene book comes out. You're dying to see what she's up to.  When someone asks how many dolls you have, do you tell them a much lower number than the actual count?  Do your family members know that your Christmas wish list will  contain only dolls, and anything else will be a disappointment?  Do you want a bigger house/apartment only because of the extra room it will give for dolls, not because the humans need more space?  Did you decide to let that old refrigerator serve for another year so you'd have more money for dolls in the meantime?  Did you open a credit card "just for dolls" and find the limit was full after the first year?  Have you considered taking on a part time job "just for a little doll money"?  Do you hide dolls under the beds and in the closets so that your children and husband won't know how many you really have?  Do you write checks for food but don't buy the food, just have the market cash the checks so that your husband thinks you are buying food but you really use the cash for dolls. Every once in a while he wonders why the refrigerator and pantry are nearly empty.  Do you forget where you have put a certain doll or totally can't remember if you have purchased it and are panicked that you might repeat a doll purchase?